Thread: Please Help! I'm not sure what to do.

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This might make me sound like a bad person but here goes.

Last year on Halloween day my husband's nephew's son was born. For the past 10 years I've had a Halloween party and haunt and I have somewhere around 100 guests and very few are older than eleven or twelve.

Well yesterday my mother-in-law informs me that she is going to have the baby's birthday party at my Halloween party. My Halloween party is on the 23rd. this year leaving another weekend and Halloween itself. I work my a$$ off on my party and I try to keep a certain atmosphere. I don't really like my MIL all that much anyway. Her grandson, the babies father, lives in her basement has no job or even a drivers licence.

At Xmas we were playing pictionary before it was time to unwrap presents. He got mad because his team was losing, started cussing and went downstairs to his room. Because he wouldn't come back up and join us later to unwrap presents, She refused to let anyone else exchange gifts and we still haven't. He is 23 years old and is spoiled. He has never come to my party and I want to keep it that way. I don't want her taking over my party. What would you all do?

Jeez honey...thats a sticky wicket. How does your hubby feel about the situation? Is he gonna back your play of whatever you do? Regardless, stick to your guns and make a stand on your wishes. Sounds like the basement dweller needs a reality check on life.

Is your date set in stone? You could try to change it to another weekend.

I don't know if your MI said to have the date on that day or if she said "Hey I want to have the party at YOUR party"

Has she ever been to your party before? Does she know its more Tween/Adult theme not for kiddies.

Can you compromise and have the kids party early in the day (REALY early) and then have your party?

You could try to tell her that you will be busy attending to your own guest to deal with a whole other party.

I do feel your pain, I have had a few sticky situations myself...you must decide if you want to keep the peace by compromsing OR if you finally want to stand your ground and tell her how you feel. Either way like Croglin said you need some backing by your husband. Good Luck and I hope everything turns out the way you want.

Im sorry I would have to tell them that it is not appropriate. Maybe you can do one after your usual gathering if you need to compromise. Tell them you can take some of the scarier stuff down to make it more youth friendly.

If it was me, truely me. I would just tell them NO you must be out of your mind. You are not goin to tell me what you are going to do at my party. Its not even my kid, let alone my kids kid. No one is going to tell me what to do !!!

This is your tradition i feel for the sake of the fight comprise by willing to do another day but DO NOT let her tell you what you and your family are goin to do.

We planned a small wedding, then a person we barely knew invited herself, her toddler and was going to invite some of her relatives that we had never met, all just to get some "free" food!
As it turned out we had fun with her toddler, the rest never showed (maybe they felt awkward?)
Nobody interfeared with the day my new Wife wanted to stick carrots up her nose for the photoshoot! Even her Dad couldn't stop her and of course I was impressed!
We treasure those pictures.
Yes we have the photographic proof.
FUN! FUNNY!

This is an easy one...tell the M-I-L, NO!

Actually, you and your husband should tell her NO!

And if things work out right, your M-I-L won't talk to you for a while.....double bonus

I've got the same sort of thing going on with my brothers...my parent's 50th anniversary is on Halloween. And my brothers are upset that I won't drive up to Washington that weekend for a party. They don't get how important Halloween is to me and I wouldn't do a roadtrip that time of year anyway due to the chances of snow. So I told them that I planned on taking my dad to the Huskers/Huskies football game in Seatlle in September and that that would be a better weekend for a party and to have it on Friday night....they said they didn't think I should be planning the 50th anniversary party around a football game. Well, I love the Huskers more than I love Halloween, so you can see where this is going. I told them to plan what they wanted and that I was only driving up to Washington once this year and if I missed the party, that would be between me and the folks. So they plan the party on gameday....so on Father's day, my dad mentioned that we might not be back at the start of the party due to traffic and I told him, I don't care if we're late, we planned on going to the game three years ago and if we're late, we're late. So yesterday was my mom's birthday and when I talked to her, she said....she doesn't care if we get to the party late and her only "demand" is that I can't argue about the schedule with my brothers....(Mom gets it!)

That's YOUR party and you work hard putting it together! Tell her NO!!! And don't change it for her. What has she ever done for you? If the basement dweller was any kind of person at all, he would be putting on a party for his OWN kid.
You and your husband need to stick together on this one.

Do you have a basement with a lock you can lure them in?
For the baby party, simply refuse, tell her you have other plans already book for that day. She might only choose that day for spite too. In-laws can be very mean people. Ask her why that day? If you can't change, use the babies as props!

So sorry for the situation, but I would firmly tell her NO! First of all, why is she in charge of the party anyway? Why not the parents of the baby? And she just thinks that she can invite herself and all these unknown people there to? Absolutely not. What will happen if the party goes like that, and all these people come over, that no one will be paying attention to the baby bc they will all marvel at your awesome decor and food, and that will make her really mad! And sounds like she will stay mad. Your husband needs to back you up on this, but it is totally inappropriate to have the babys party with yours, and decided to tell you thats how its going to be! Stand your ground!

Your HUSBAND needs to be the one that says " hey Mom this is our adult party and the little ones should not be here" and then give her an option of having it another day or heaven forbid actually have it at her house and let her know you would be happy to help out. You may just have to step on some toes. They will get over it and if not you won't have to deal with them!! ( that comes from experience!!!) Please don't let her bully you and DO NOT let it ruin your Halloween! Good Luck and in no way does does this make you sound like a bad person.