Thread: Badly need advice...or comforting reactions.

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Ok, I wasn't planning on starting a thread to wallow in sadness openly, but I really need you guys to give me a boost!

This is the situation: Hallowe'en was a flop. So was last Hallowe'en and the three parties I threw in between. I've lost € 5.500 (it's about the same in dollars) in a year's time, with my starting business.

This means that I am offically bankrupt. I just (hopefully) sold my car, I've already left my house and life with my mom (I was planning on getting pregnant, but that I'll have to postpone obviously), I sold my paintings, bandshirts and other stuff I could sell...and I've got these debt collectors chasing me for money from my previous home (€ 3.000 for a one-and-a-half-room-attic because I supposedly stole the toiletseat and didn't clean up when I moved out)...

In about a month I'll be able to buy the bar I've been dreaming of and planning for for 15 years and studied 6 years for...and the closer I get to that point, the less customers show up at my parties. Down to the depressing number of 10 this weekend. Instead of 100-250.

So, I would really like to cry my eyes out, but I can't, because I'm a business woman and a hard rocker and that's just not done in my position. I've got two employees that are young, inexperienced boys, who believe in me and my company deeply, whom I haven't told the situation.

I also just want to be reasonable and call it a day. There's not enough customers, so this is the end of the line. I've never been so helpless and a liability when it comes to money. I hate it. And I don't like other people that don't pay their biills eighter.

But I can't stop haunting. I've tried tto quit a couple of years, but that got me even more depressed...once you get the haunting virus, it stays with you, at least that's what I think.

I could still buy the bar, since that money comes from a different source (being several old hard rockers that really believe in the plan).

The location would be much better (central, easy to find, next to other great bars and trainstation) and since the revenue from the bar (beer) is mine to keep, I wouldn't need entrance fees, which would make it easier for people to show up...

I really don't know what to do at this point. Is it the crisis? Is it bad management? Bad marketing? Or am I dreaming about something that cannot berealized?

I know probably none of you do this professionally, to gain money by it, but I know that most of you are much more professional about it than me, so I still ask your help.

And I cannot say anything about my doubts out here, since no one should know about me quitting untill the descision is final; if I decide to keep on going, I would have lost all my customers anyway because they don't thrust me.

AAARRRGGGHH... Please, could anyone just say something compforting, nice, or realistic about this? Or just that it really sucks to be in this position? 'Cause for the first time in years I think I've got the right to be disappointed in myself and feel very sorry for myself at the same time. There. Sorry for this, I'll write something cheery some other day.

Maybe I missed something but, what services do you provide? Do you host parties and events?

Sorry to hear about your troubles.

Firstly, since I dont know what business you are in, it will be difficult to 'advise'

But I'd like to give you some high level life-advise.

A couple of years ago, my wife and I were drowning in debt. Constantly bill collectors harrassed us on the telephone. There wasnt a damn thing we could do to pay them since we didnt have anything to pay with. It was tearing us apart too. We were at each other about the bills and the money a lot.

At some point we had a hear to heart. I told her that no matter what, those bill collectors cannot really touch us. We have nothing to sue for (bill collectors do not sue, they harass). I told her that we are the most important thing to each other, and they "cant take our birthday away." We shifted our attitude towards what we could change and what we couldn't change. It boiled down to one simple rule: They only have as much power as you give them.

The moral of the story is, if you continuously ponder on the negative, you will only get more negative coming at you. If you can, instead, shift your thinking to the positive things, the things you have to be thankful for, and constantly focus on only that and what you want, then it will be yours. One who puts her whole energy, mind body and soul, into what she wants cannot fail.

For the bill collectors, tell em to sod off! Change your phone #. In the US they have rules for contacting you, if you notify them in writing to stop calling, they have to stop. Then you send them $10 a month.

Unless they have names like Guiddo and Vinnie, pay what you can but don't stay awake at night because of it.

Well Nikita....what can I say to comfort you? Your english was pretty good! You wrote that much better in english than I could have in dutch!
You were also a BIG help to me with my party. Every time I bugged you for help, you replied! And your suggestions were fantastic! My party wouldn't have been the success it was if it wasnt for you
If you have backers to finance the bar....go for your dream! Dont let anything stop you!
You are young. There is plenty of time to worry about your financial future. Take the risk now because later you might regret not going after your dream.
Organising and making money with halloween activities is not the same as the daily running of a bar. You shouldn't compare the two.

BUY THE BAR!

MsM

Sorry your feeling down, Halloween is supposed to be a good thing and not a sad thing. My advice, always stick with what makes you happy because that is what you are going to put the best effort towards. Alway do halloween and alway pursue the bar. As far as how to to get more business to your bar i know a few thing that have helped some friends of mine. Drink specials and free admission wont help much, but the right vibe will. if you are into art and music, make that your theme. People like somewhere different that they can connect with and have fun. Let local artists and friends display their art at your bar. Put interesting music and different music on. If you have live music put some band on that the ladies will like. Trust me, if girls want to come you will not have a problem getting boys to come. Fun decorations help too what was yours like? Best way to advertise for my friends was by doing a few things. People dont want to show up at a bar that is empty so they used to throw parties at their bar and let their friends get free admission into the bar (live band some nights) and they gave free shots to their closest ones. The also did contests so people could have fun and get involved. The more people in your bar the more it will be remembered as a good place to go to meet and greet. While paying for good bands, having an impressive beer list, and great decorations are always a plus; having a great social setting is always going to draw them in. Dont know if any of this will help you but Halloween must survive so f**k it. and good luck out there in that wonderful country of yours my friend, and please put some alice cooper on your jukebox when you get that dream bar! ; )

Wow.... I don't know what to say. You people are sooo nice! This really helps a lot. I've been talking to my Consigliere yesterday (the oldest of the two boys; he's my age, but less experienced) and told him the situation, since he deserves to know. He said:"If you don't buy it, I will! The show must go on!" So after a lot of puzzling where it al went wrong, we decided to hive off the division that organises the gigs (inc. H'ween) , at least downsize it. The bar indeed, like MsMeeple sais, is not the same thing. People in the financial time, just do not have money for fancy parties. Although they do have money to spend on a nice simple night out (look at Ireland; people have been broke there for centuries, but the bars still run)...

Since there's no rock bar in the entire city, and we have this exclusive plan (yes Darktootsie; art, rock and metal music and thematic decorations)...and I've been planning this my entire life..and I used to say: The crisis is good for me; because I can buy a bar for not too much money plus that fact that if you can run a bar in these times, you can be sure to always be able to keep your head above water....

I'M GONNA GET BACK UP ON MY FEET AND MAKE THIS WORK!

Love you guys (don't let anyone hear that I've become such a wuss in here)! Thanx a million!

And by the way: I most certainly will have Alice Cooper in the bar!

Nikita, I am glad that you are buying the bar, you can't beat a rocker bar!! I am sorry that you are being hounded, I hope things get better. If you love halloween , don't give up on it, still celebrate it, just not as a source of income, but for love! best of luck dear, and keep us informed! and don't worry about being "wuss" , sounds like you had every reason for a melt down! thats what we are here for, to help!

the only thing I can say uplifting is that it could be worse ......you could have all those problems and like top 40 or techno music .....but you seem to like rock or metal music ........so you got that going for you ...........good luck with what ever decision you make .......

I'm so happy to hear that you're going to forge ahead!

Here's a clue that just might help you stay out of the dumps....you mentioned several people who believe in you. Are they fools? Are they stupid? very likely not on both counts. If you have people who trust you and believe in you, there's got to be a good reason.
Nevermind trying to figure out what that reason is, just accept it and draw strength from it.

If this is a dream you have, then there's nothing worse than not giving it everything you have without limit...to look back and wonder "what if" is hell incarnate.

Call me irresponsible, but I say DO IT, KEEP DOING IT, and KEEP HAUNTING!!!

...maybe you could "haunt" the bar too?