Thread: I think I offended a new friend :(

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Oh man. My heart has sunk into my stomach.

I'm a mom of a special needs child (autism), and two other children, all boys and all lovely people. I have recently befriended another mom from my special needs son's kindergarten class. Her kids have been over to my house; I watched them for her. The kids ALL had so much fun.

I did notice she seemed to be a little on the hyper-Christian side, which I'm not. I'm pretty much pagan but a very low-key pagan. I am very much live and let live. She asked if we go to church and stuff like that but I didn't think much of it.

Well, she knows I love H'ween so she forwarded me some great Halloween pumpkin carving sites and I was very excited that she thought of me and was honored. So I returned to her a picture of my "snake pumpkin". It actually isn't even my idea...I got the general idea from of all people, MARTHA STEWART, the queen of goody-goody northeastern stodginess. I had to think of ideas for an article and create them so the article would have pictures. It can be seen right here: One-of-a-Kind Halloween Pumpkins - Exciting Themes to Carve Your Pumpkin Halloween Alliance (That's my article. I'm so proud. Scroll down; it's the second picture.)

She wrote me back ONE LINE:

"you are truly sick"

Just like that. She didn't even sign it.

I feel like crying. Is it THAT sick? I mean for real. I feel so so bad right now. I think I lost a friend.

I will never ever fit in here. I am so lonely for home.

well it's pretty hard to figure out tone in an email.

so either she's joking about it or she's way too serious and uptight and if it's the latter I personally wouldn't bother with her again. people like that just drag you down.

nothing wrong with any of the pumpkins you linked to.

I'm sorry to hear, Melanie. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are stubbornly close-minded and do not appreciate anything out of the norm. What one person thinks of as creativity and the harmless celebration of a holiday another thinks of as devil-worship.

Perhaps if you let her know that it was Martha's idea, she might think of it as more "wholesome." However, the incredibly aggressive way she reacted leads me to believe that there could be more conflict down the road.

I agree with Gennifyr. You can't really tell how she meant that without speaking to her. I'd just act like nothing happened and see how she reacts to you the next time you see her.

I think Gennifyr has a great point...while I love email and internet communication, it is very difficult to determine ones tone of voice through this media. Try to talk to her. Maybe start with "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" -- which will likely lead to her telling you whether or not she truly was.

CM whatever you do please let us know the outcome on this.

Muf

It's too bad you don't live on Texas!! I would love to have you as a friend!! I also have a son with autism who is in a special needs kindergarten class!! You would think a mom with a special needs child who have a higher tolerance for different views. I know having my son, I also have 2 daughters, has changed how I look at people. I do not think you did anything wrong, friends should accept you the way you are. I know I am new here, but if you need support, please feel free to send me a message!! -Rachel

Hmmm, it's hard to tell if she meant it in a good way or bad way. It would seem kind of odd for her to suddenly e-mail something like that to you.

Perhaps respond "hehe, thank you (jokingly)! I saw the idea in a Martha Stewart magazine and loved it."

Then, see what she responds with.

Let us know!

Hopefully she meant this as a compliment, either way, I would take it as one! I would simply ask her if she was offended. Communication is the key to finding out either way. Good luck and try not to take to too personally, I know that's hard but we can't always please everyone.
I am just sorry that it is bothering you so much. Hang in there.

Try to clarify but sounds like she's nuts.