Thread: help with storyline...

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After our trial run on Sunday I realize that we really need a story to go with the haunt house. Its complicated because there is a different theme in each room... headhunters, tea party, spiders, aliens etc... Since the name of our haunt is Nightmare Manor I decided to run with that.. I dont want to stop and tell a story before each room so I decided to just tell it all in the front entry hall way. Im trying to keep it short and sweet and simple.. Heres what I have so far. Id REALLY appreciate any suggestions or opinions

Welcome to Nightmare Manor.
Here each room contains a dream left behind
by the occupants of that room. Some of
the dreams... were not pleasant.

The master of the house spent many months
on safari in the deepest jungles with cannibals
and head hunters. His nightmare is in the study
just thru there (point/gesture at the cave entrance)
just to the left of the entry hallway

The parlor, where the lady of the house hosted
endless tea parties. Enter if you will but beware,
if you choose to join her tea party you may
never leave it. (gesture to the door)
just to the right of the entry hallway

The rest of the house contains the nightmares
of the many visitors who have been here....
Careful that you dont let a nightmare follow you home.

anyone?? if you think it would be better for me to just not say anything at all its ok to say so LOL

Did I maybe start this thread in the wrong forum?

I think what you have sounds great. Better than saying nothing at all. Goes great with the Nightmare Manor name.

Thanks Halloween Princess, I think the 'dream' thing is a lil over done but I dont know what else to do... Im open to all suggestions