I always had monsters at the doors,the kids adjusted.Maybe thats why they are demented like dad.My friends kids would not come to my house so when I was building some props they came down and saw that the insides were just wood and chicken wire,it seemed to help.(Til I scared them with the stalkabout)
All excellent advise! Years ago the 3 little girls (now Teenagers) across the street from me would often come over and watch me make my props when the garage was open. They showed much interest in how things worked and even giggle when I would operate a prop for them. This went on for months. Halloween night when everything was out on display, properly lighted and with sound and fog, they would not even cross the street! Now, the eldest works every year at a pro haunt and frequently asks for advise.
Maybe start her out watching the Charlie Brown Great Pumpkin video and then progress to The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Just give her time, she'll come around. Apples never fall far from the tree.
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I don't want to just scare them... I want to mess them up for life!
Although I don't have kids of my own, my neighbor boy is at our house pretty much every other day.
I agree with what the others said, luckily, it worked in my case. (I'm hoping to turn my sweet little neighbor boy into a fellow Halloween nut) (keep you fingers crossed with me)
Last year he was almost 3 when his mom brought him down into the basement where I had all the props laying out, as I was beginning to get things put together. He was scared of everything & wouldn't let Mom put him down. The next few times he was over I let him dig thru boxes & touch the masks & let him scare us. In the beginning to curb nightmares Mom told him "Halloween" is only in Jackie's basement.....she'd have him say "bye bye Halloween" before we went up stairs each night. 2 weeks later he wanted to take the "big bat" home with him. Another week went by & he came over EVERY night to see "Halloween" and cried when it was time to leave. So that's been my experience with little ones & halloween.
I sure hope you can find a way to share the season with your daughter! If not this year, maybe next huh? Best Wishes!!
BTW, she is TOO CUTE!! Oh, and your house decorations rock too.
Lots of good advice here. I would also like to add that giving things non-threatening names also helps a lot. Our skeleton became "Ernie", our ghost is named "Clyde", and another one of our props is named "Artie". Once things got names and we could say "that's just Ernie being silly", our daughter (now 2.5) was much less scared of everything. She loves Halloween now and she can't wait for "Halloween night". Now if I can just do something about the Cinderella costume...
I have twin 3 year-old girls and I think I agree with the "get her involved" suggestions. But don't push it either. If it's freaking her out, back off and talk to her about it later when she's calm.
If she's anything like mine, those things that totally scared her will become her new obsession. Oh! And NAME things. It's funny, but when mine first saw our flying crank ghost they were scared to death. Then I told them, that's our ghost Melinda. Within a few days they were talking to her and asking to see her and were truly bummed out when she "went to go sleep in the garage until next Halloween".
I don't know why, but giving the props silly names (we have one called Melvin they love) seems to help with the initial fear.
My Niece's 1st Halloween was when she was 9 days old, of course she couldn't even focus hers eyes very well if at all at that point. Her second Halloween she came to the party and had no problems being passed around by people in costume. Her 3rd Halloween started off shaky and it was because she had been around other little children that thought Halloween was scary. So I went and got out "Mr. Bones" he's was a little taller than her but close in height, articulated and said funny stuff when you pushed his button. She was stand offish at first but I thought to ask her to please take it into the garage to her Uncle and have him show her how "Mr. Bones" could dance. "Mr. Bones" has had a best friend in her ever since and currently sits in her room at my house wearing her Witch hat with his feet propped up.
Involvement, getting to their level of comfort, patience and a whole lot of love, that should do it. By the way, She IS Adorable, and I don't say that very often
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But sweetheart the Headless Horseman prop is ONLY $3,500.00 give or take...
I can relate to your problem, and I have to urge caution here if you decide to try the suggestions in the above replies. I'm a child care provider, and have raised three boys. Sometimes you can help a young toddler through a fear, and sometimes you can't.
I had one child who, as a 3 year old, went through someone's backyard haunt, and laughed the whole time.
On the other hand, I had a four year old whose father was determined to get him un-afraid of monsters and Halloween, by making him touch masks and ghosts and such while decorating, and it caused him a great deal of trauma. It was 3 years before he could sleep in his own room, 5 years before he could sleep without a light in his room. He was truly traumatized. He is now 11, and is for the first time able to enjoy Halloween and wants to participate in making a haunt.
He is probably not a typical example of how the average kid reacts, but keep in mind what developmental stage your child is at. At the age of 2-3 years old, the world is still a mystery. It's hard to predict how things will act, children can feel very powerless and that makes the world a scary place. They are completely dependent on you for their safety - in their eyes - parents have the power to make the world safe.
They are also not able to determine on their own, what is "real" and "fake". They have the ability to play pretend when they make up the game, but not necessasarily when someone else makes the game.
Gently and carefully exposing your little one to the things that frighten her might help. If you try that approach - just be aware of her reactions - just like you did at the stores. If she's interested, let her explore what she chooses, how she chooses - let her be in control, and remove her if she gets too upset.
Keep the items below her eye level so she'll feel she's bigger than it.
If she still shows a level of fear that concerns you, but you still want to have a haunt, can you do it in an area that she can't see from the window, or have to walk past, or even know is there?
From your post I get the impression you are attentive and senstive to your child's needs. With all the advice you've gotten here, I think you'll be able to make a wise choice.
Please keep in mind, that home should always be the safest place on earth.
FYI, she'll soon be reaching the prime "fear of the dark/monster under the bed" age. With my kids, I found that no amount of talking will talk them out of their fear. So I let them have nightlights and such, and in order to give them a feeling of control, I gave them a magic monster protection blanket - a piece of satin fabric in their favorite color - big enough to cover their body. Monsters can't see them, or touch them with the magic blanket!! And, I went to Bath and Body works with my son, had him choose a scented spray that he likes, told him it was monster spray. We sprayed it under the bed and in the closet. It was strong enough that he could smell the spray himself, so he knew the monster would smell it and run away. Don't forget - flashlights vaporize monsters immediately! Get her her own little light that she can work herself. She'll feel more powerful. You, of course, can remind her often that you will keep her safe, and that your home is always safe.
I have a 5 yr old daughter who helps us every weekend to decorate. I agree the younger you can get them involved, the easier it is for them to acclimate. We try to be outside early in the afternoon with her playing in the yard and helping us, then have her to help us test things out as soon as get starts getting dark. Hey katie you push the button. She sees that she is the one controlling the object. She tells everyone, my house will freak you out. It is sooo freaky. Once it gets really dark outside, again she gets to be the one to push the button and scare us. Then I will ask her, is it scary? She says no mommy it isn't real. Then she pushes the button, I scream and she laughs.
I might suggest for you to have your child to make his own idea of scary halloween pictures to decorate around the house. This project might help him with his fears of halloween.
My friends kids would not come to my house so when I was building some props they came down and saw that the insides were just wood and chicken wire,it seemed to help.(Til I scared them with the stalkabout)
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