Thread: family wont help, rant!!

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I have some pretty hurt feeling right now. We were supposed to be cleaning out the garage in a box to get ready for our party next saturday. And my adult daughter and her bf they dont show up till 3 and immidatly turn on the tv and start watching shows..
Mu husband is being useless..the washing machine broke...i help others why cant they see this is important? Oh they all want the party and will drink all my free drinks and food...but help......anyone else go through this?
Between the weather the wind damage the no help im ready to give up...im not even sure im enjoying it at this point. Theres so much to do!!!

I am so sorry you are going through this! My group moans and groans a lot, but they always come through for me. This year we got a later start decorating and then I fell and tore up my knee. Dear hubby, daughter, sister and dear niece really came through for me. I am still down and the knee seems worse. I see the doc on Tuesday and am hoping the MRI has good news, but from the escalating pain, I am really worried. It looks like they get to pull all of this down without me, too. I helps a lot for so many to be so complimentary to them on their FB.

I hope that you get things going soon.

i completely understand. wife is the same way. i do and do but if i want to get something she doesnt want to go and if she wants something i have to go. go figure

I feel ya. I throw a party with my roommate normally. This year we both have a big paper due on Halloween, and she is refusing to even think about Halloween. So I've been doing it all myself even though I have the paper looming as well. That includes buying almost all of the food and drink. At least it is being done my way, but a little help would be nice especially since I am doing all of her makeup for her costume.

Rest assured you are not alone

Not alone at all! Today I layed out on paper what props/decorations/lighting I'll be using. It's been frustrating planning this year since our landscaping work keeps running into problems and is months over completion. Last week I asked DH whether he'd be willing to take off 10/31 and help set up the yard this year. He has a lot of vacation time accrued right now and loses days if he doesn't take them. He's helped in the past with a little of the decorating and some of the electronics prop works. Anyway the day off request went over like a lead balloon. We only set up the yard the day of so it gets hectic. In the past he's occasionally gotten home late when the ToTers are already showing up so it's fallen to me most years to get things organized and be ready. He will hand out candy and likes to see the kids come to the house and LOVED the neighbors' and kids' comments when I bought and used Hallowindows one year. He borrowed a projector from work and helped me construct the "window" screen for it. So it's not like he hasn't helped out in the past.

I've asked a few times during the past month if he would help me get props and scenes ready this year (will keep them in the garage until halloween) and he won't commit either way, and last time said "that makes __ times you've asked me". You can imagine how that makes you feel. Honestly I'm ready to put an ad in our neighborhood newsletter next year and hire some help, "Halloween stand-in partner to help set up for Halloween Night--Might be full-time position!"

I can relate here! As most of you know I been complaining the last few yrs. of this illness that just keeps progressing & finally this yr. it has zapped me good. I'm afraid my decorating days have come to an end. Last yr. I could not get on the ladder & that was tough for me. Jerry has been great about putting stuff up but last yr. we had some problems because he just did not want to start early enough.....and sure enough...Halloween, we were not done. The bathroom, the kitchen, the living room all were not finished. I was stressed beyond belief. Stress is the worse thing for my illness. He promised me this year it would run smooth even tho he went to visit his family in Nebraska all of Sept.. Said when he would get back home we would start. Didn't happen. He thinks we can get it all up 2 weeks before Halloween night.

Just is impossible with all this stuff. So he started last week & I'm scared we're not gonna make it. Problem is I bought stuff the whole yr. for this & then he puts it off & once again I'm getting stressed except this year its worse. He's started to pick up the pace & my helping him has caused big problems for me. He finally got the outside done tonight. We worked on the inside last week on the walls & ceilings & I worked on the indoor decorations that i could handle in the wheelchair. We still have a lot to do in the house. No projects got finished this year and I need 9 props for these rooms we are working on. I pray we'll get it all done because each day I'm getting weaker & just can go for so long & have to get back in bed. Last yr. I was just to weak from all the stress to take pictures of my TOT's, everyone including me was disappointed.

We are trying hard to finish. He has worked so long outside with no help & he's going to be 70. I told him next yr. I'm hiring a crew of high school kids to help us. I still got to many ideas to give this all up. Not ready yet. Ok........I'm done whining! Thanks for consoling me!

the Muffster

I hear you. My husband does help a lot but I still do a lot by myself because I am such an over achiever when it comes to party planning. I always set myself up with an impossible list of projects and menus. I've been working on this for months but there are some things I am going to have to scratch off my list. I realized last night as I was rubbing icy hot on my feet and hands that I am going to have to break down and buy some store bought good this yr. I want to enjoy our party next Sat but if I keep on like this, I'll be too exhausted! We're supposed to be having fun with this not stressing ourselves out like crazy!!!

Paulaween, I used to feel your pain. But it's to the point that I don't count on them anymore. I used to have a huge yard haunt with teenagers but I've down sized to having a few kids that will do it right. I decorate the outside of the house and don't worry about the inside. If I get help then to me it's a windfall.

I just got used to people telling me they would help then it falling through. That's expected now at my house. It just saves a lot of pain and resentment in the end. Well....maybe there is still a little resentment. LOL!

Here ...Here bridgette...you said a mouthful. I was like you when we had the restaurant & catered weddings. Made myself nuts. Finally I realized I had to hire help. We did a big wedding where we handled everything...I even dipped chocolates at the reception....hug bolts of fabric that i hung from the ceiling. Made centerpieces...favors....was glad to have the help but it cost us $780.00. Huge chunk out of my pocket but the help was great. Oh how I don't miss making wedding cakes anymore!!lol