Thread: Very sad today, and also torn about decorating

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I'm seriously bummed out this morning because my beloved grandpa "Papa" passed away last night. My dad was able to fly back to Erie to be with him the last few days, so I know he was well taken care of and peaceful, but it still hurts. Papa loved not necessarily Halloween, but loved seeing his grandkids enjoy Halloween. He'd always ask me about my costume and come over to help my mom decorate. He and my dad would take my brother, sister and I trick-or-treating when we were little, then stay up late with us while we sorted our candy and ran around the neighborhood some more. He wanted nothing more then to see us happy. I know he would want me to put up my decorations today and enjoy them, because they remind me of him and so many good memories. The problem is, our neighbor across the street passed away two days ago from cancer (it's been a rough week). While I'd be honoring my grandpa by putting up decorations, I don't think it's necessarily appropriate to set up a graveyard full of skeletons in view of my neighbor's wife and adult children who live there. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

I'm truly sorry for your loss, Halloween Scream. I wish that I knew what to tell you regarding decorating; all I can say is that I think it's best if you do whatever you feel is right.

Originally Posted by Halloween Scream

I'm seriously bummed out this morning because my beloved grandpa "Papa" passed away last night. My dad was able to fly back to Erie to be with him the last few days, so I know he was well taken care of and peaceful, but it still hurts. Papa loved not necessarily Halloween, but loved seeing his grandkids enjoy Halloween. He'd always ask me about my costume and come over to help my mom decorate. He and my dad would take my brother, sister and I trick-or-treating when we were little, then stay up late with us while we sorted our candy and ran around the neighborhood some more. He wanted nothing more then to see us happy. I know he would want me to put up my decorations today and enjoy them, because they remind me of him and so many good memories. The problem is, our neighbor across the street passed away two days ago from cancer (it's been a rough week). While I'd be honoring my grandpa by putting up decorations, I don't think it's necessarily appropriate to set up a graveyard full of skeletons in view of my neighbor's wife and adult children who live there. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

First off, I am really sorry for your loss. I want to avoid saying 'this is what you should do' because in the end it is up to you. My mother in law's birthday is Halloween so I had always gone over to her house and did the graveyard there because that is where we would spend Halloween. A few years back, we lost my 2 year old niece to an accidental drowning. Her church celebrates All Saints day with a rememberence of who passed. It was close to Halloween so it was fresh. Nobody wanted the graveyard set up that year. There are times like this when it is not a matter of 'Heck with them if they don't like Halloween or not' I see you appreciate this sense. If you want to honor your Grandpa and this is your way but are worried about your neighbors, talk to them. Let them know how you feel but you are concerned about there situation as well. Could help both of you to just talk about it.

I'm so very sorry for your loss as well!! And I second the suggestion of talking to your neighbors.....see what they say.

Maybe also change up the decorations a bit? IE modify them? And maybe add something special to the decor for your grandpa. ((((HUGS)))

so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and your neighbors. Could you wait to set up the cemetery and skeleton until a few days before Halloween? Just put some of the other decorations out. I used to start setting up early in September but after 9/11, I started waiting until a week or two after the elventh. In fact that year I had the whole cemetery up and I took it down right after I heard about all the tragedy. I thought it was the least I could do was show a some respect considering all those lives lost. Sorry for the side note. But in the end, it is ultimately your decision what and when to decorate.

My deepest sympathies, HS....I'm so sorry for your loss.

I also agree with talking to your neighbor, see how they feel about it first. If it's something that does bother them, then out of respect, I wouldn't set up the graveyard this year. But I would still put other decor out like JOLs, witches, etc.

Halloween Scream, I am so sorry for your loss.

A few years ago my father passed away on Christmas night, but the beginning of the end began on Halloween. That following year I still wanted to put up a Halloween display, but I really could not bring myself to put up a cemetery scene. I just did a theme that encompassed both sections of my yard and did not include a cemetery scene. That worked out well for me.

A couple years prior to that, my next door neighbor passed away shortly before Halloween. Her son came out here to stay for awhile and take care of the house and things. I felt torn about putting up my cemetery as it would be right next to their house. I just asked the son if it would bother him and he encouraged me to go ahead and put it up, that his mother always enjoyed the decorations. So I would agree with others that it would help your decision to just speak with the neighbors.

Whatever you decide will be right for you.

Sorry about your dear Papa.

I don't know what you should do. I would ask them what they are comfortable with, and respect their wishes. It is awfully nice of you to consider their feelings.

Deepest condolences. Always a tough and confusing time. As for your haunt, maybe to honor your Grandpa you could do a theme based on something he enjoyed. If he liked football, you could do a haunted football theme. Just an idea. At the least you could carve a pumpkin in his memory.