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    Dealing with Death and Halloween?
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    Biggie's Avatar
    Biggie is offline The Great Pumpkin
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    Anyone else have to deal with losing someone on Halloween. I have been trying to ignore the fact, but I am gonna have to deal with it. Basically October is the happiest time for me during the year. Especially October 31st, but this past halloween I lost someone I knew. Being woken up with a halloween hangover by the news that one of my Friends, Coworker, Mentor, and fellow zombie enthusiast passed away the night before really isn't a great thing. Since I am having a sleepless night already, I am just trying to think how I can deal with this. I am already starting to get kind of emotional thinking about him right now, but I don't want to know what I will feel like halloween night. I'm not looking for feel goods from y'all, just ways that you have found to deal with this sorta thing. Any ideas, I wanna make a pneumatic zombie this year, but I feel I might regret seeing the reminder of him on the night of.
    We stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realized they were inside of us
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    obsessedjack's Avatar
    obsessedjack is offline The Great Pumpkin
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    Actually I think that may be the best way to deal with it. You said he was a zombie enthusiast as well as a good friend. While you make it think of all the good memories or qualities about your friend. It will hurt no doubt. That's inevitable. But just think fondly of him while you keep busy with that. That's what I would do anyways....Hope you feel better....
    Obsessedjack
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    Biggie's Avatar
    Biggie is offline The Great Pumpkin
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    Thanks for your input, that seems like a good way of going about it. I thought about doing a really nice stone as a memorial kind of thing. However that seemed like alittle much.
    We stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realized they were inside of us
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    bl00d's Avatar
    bl00d is offline Never try to eat a zombie
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    Only life brought into this world my Son. My Grandmothers Aunt which would be I dont know in relative tree passed away on a Christmas.


    Today March 23rd is always hard on me my unit lost 18 Marines that day some were very close friends of mine. Nasiriyah, Iraq, March 23rd 2003.
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    #5
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    For me personnally, if I (also a 'zombie enthusiast' ) die on Halloween then I'd say that is perfect timing. And I would hope that all my Halloween brothas & sistas would get a good chuckle about it. But that's just me and I am a little weird.

    Sorry to hear of your loss.
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    osenator is offline The Great Pumpkin
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    I just lost my dad a few weeks ago, so, I know what you are feeling. Make your haunt dedicated to him, as a fairwell and a thank you for all the good times you had together.
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    maleficent's Avatar
    maleficent is offline Skullboy Fanclub Pres.
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    Sorry to hear of everyone's loses. I lost my mom in June last year. One thing I did on Halloween was to light a candle in one of my pumpkins for her.
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    #8
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    talkingcatblues is offline The Great Pumpkin
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    I’m sorry to hear about your friend – he sounds like he was a good person to have in your life.


    I don’t know if this is helpful to you, but for some people Samhain is actually the day where you are *encouraged* to acknowledge death (the death of the year and of loved ones) and to spend time honoring your friends and family who have died. That’s where all the death imagery (skeletons, ghosts, and now zombies, vampires, etc) is coming from on Halloween. The end of the harvest and the beginning of the long winter is the point at which the wheel of the year turns into the shadow, only to (hopefully) re-emerge into the light with the coming of the spring. The historical celebration of Halloween and similar holidays like the Day of the Dead very much involves spending time thinking about people who have passed away, as well as a nod to the intermingling of life and death in general.


    I think some of the suggestions you’re getting here about honoring your friend, for example by lighting a candle, or by dedicating your haunt to him, are good ideas. Instead of trying to avoid thinking about your friend for fear it will make you too sad, you might try by doing some of these things to make his life a part of your thinking, by deliberately setting aside some time during what you're doing during the holiday to celebrate what he meant to you.



    Samhain/Halloween for some people is traditionally the time when we try *not* to turn away from this part of life – it’s a time when, as hard as it may be, we look it in the eye and embrace it for what it’s worth. If you find some action or moment that you can make into a meaningful way for you to honor your friend through your celebration, you may find that that helps a little in dealing with his passing.


    I hope things will hurt less for you in time.
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    #9
    icyuod2 is offline The Great Pumpkin
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    My unlce doug was born on oct. 31.
    Last year we lost him to cancer also on oct. 31.

    Honestly, I'm gonna try my best not to think about it on my fav. night of the year.
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    #10
    Marie Roget's Avatar
    Marie Roget is offline The Great Pumpkin
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    So sorry to read about everyone's losses. As for Biggie's original question about how to cope with the tough feelings of having lost someone close to you: time really is a great healer. And it does take time to go through what counselors call the "stages of grief." Everyone does this "working through" at their own pace.

    My opinion (based on my own experience) is to give yourself a couple more months, Biggie, so your mind & emotions can continue working through your feelings about losing your friend, then see how the idea of doing your yard haunt this year feels to you. Your perspective may be somewhat different by then, or maybe not, but you'll at least have given yourself more of a chance to work through things in your mind. Don't force yourself to start building that zombie pneumatic, only do it if you think you can really handle how you might feel now & on Halloween- in other words, take good care of yourself emotionally, since this is still a fragile time for you.

    JMHO, since that's the way it was for me.
    The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague.
    Who shall say where the one ends...the other begins?

    - E.A. Poe
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