Halloween Forum - Haunted Humor

How I will be cooking my Thanksgiving Feast

HallowSusieBoo — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:47:48 GMT

YouTube - Ask a Ninja 48: Ninja Recipes

This is also the recipe for Prop Building!

Lessons learned from my haunted house in 2009

Pumpkin King — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:26:18 GMT

1. Fog machines don't work unless you turn them on.

2. Chances are, if you're carying a fog machine, 3 strobes, a Midnight Syndicate CD, 2 flood lights, and 2 strands of christmas lights, the CD is going to end up shiny-side down, out of the case on the snow covered deck.

3. CDs that fall in the snow don't work.

4. At 6:00 at night on Halloween a disfunctional CD can lead to screaming between you and your family.

5. It is asking too much to have to set up and decorate two wood rooms on Halloween.

6. People will break through caution tape and run from the haunt if a monster appears beside them.

7. First time monsters aren't scary.

8. A first time monster will interupt another first time monster to ask if they want to switch roles while the other first time monster is scaring a group.

9. A wood elf mask isn't scary in a doctor's office.

10. People can't read your sign unless you put a light on it.

11. Most teens squeeze behind a pine tree even when there's a traffic cone blocking them because it's "just crazy" that I would make them go through a mine as narrow as ours.

12. A plastic chainsaw isn't loud enough to be heard when ten kids are screaming as loud as they can.

13. If you bang a plastic machette on a piece of wood it will shatter.

Pumpkin Pies - How are they made?

HallowSusieBoo — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:25:50 GMT

A friend sent this to me just before she sent home a REAL pie with my hubby. It was delicious (thanks Judy!) and not at all the Poopy Pumpkin Pie she led me to expect! LOL :D

Halloween Cartoons

Morgan — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:47:19 GMT

Every year I do several cartoons and images for Halloween at bold comics. here are just a few, hope you enjoy.

Free Funky Halloween eCards!

Cardfish — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:28:28 GMT

I'm gonna post some links to a bunch of fantastic free eCards myself and my buds have made - watch this space!

pecans in a cemetary

hallorenescene — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:03:41 GMT

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me' said one boy.. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..'

He just knew what it was.. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard , 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord.'

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me.. That's all.. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.'

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

SMILE, God Loves you

Phil Hendry Show Halloween Episodes

Don of the Dead — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:53:30 GMT

For those who don't know what Phil Hendrie's old show, Phil does diffrent voices so he plays himself, the interviewer, and a guest (also Phil) now REAL listeners who aren't in on the joke call in usually pissed off with the "guest" and thier odd or radical take on something.

Phil has done some classic Halloween episodes here are some favorites:

Lloyd Bonafide "Spiking Halloween Treats"
Lloyd, 74 year old Koran War Vet is upset with Trick or Treaters and wants the city to pay to put a fence around his property. If they won't do it, he has no choice but to "start dropping Gillettes into a bag of Macentosh Apples" to discourage the kids. Callers scream at Lloyd.

Ted Bell "Halloween Terror House"
Ted Bell, owner of Ted's of Beverly Hills Steakhouse is having a haunted house in his Steakhouse. He promised to have some kids from one of Phils charities come to the house, until Ted finds out they're physically and Mentally Handicapped. Ted then retracts the offer saying he can't have "those kind of kids" at his place becase they freak out his Celebrity customers. Phil and the callers are outraged.

Here are the Halloween shows for download:
Free File Hosting Made Simple - MediaFire
Under the search type Halloween

Facebook Status Updates for Halloween :)

vicmymic — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:28:57 GMT

Hi all!!

I'm a new member here and just love the site!! I found some funny Halloween quotes to put on facebook during halloween :)

Check out Halloween Status Updates

Vicky

Halloween Ideas

vicmymic — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:28:08 GMT

Do u any of u have good ideas for what to do on Halloween?

Vicky

Ghostly Marriage Counseling

Crazytrain83 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:58:02 GMT

Flight Attendants

bfjou812 — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:21:32 GMT

My oldest daughter sent this to me today, thought it was pretty funny, hope you all do also.

No offense CaptnJack Sparrow :D :D

Attached Files

FW_ FLIGHT ATTENDANTS.txt (12.4 KB)

How Many Halloween Forum Members Does it take. . .

HallowSusieBoo — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:52:52 GMT

-------------------------
Light Bulb (aka - "PROP")
-------------------------

How many online forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

53 to flame the spell checkers.

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

44 to ask what is a "FAQ".

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs". ( I think I am guilty of this one ..:o)

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

KEY: Light Bulb = Prop! BOO!

The Uncle Zombie Show

spfxmasks.com — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:12:21 GMT

Here is one of our customers putting his original SPFXMasks' Zombie silicone mask to good use.
We hope you enjoy the video.
-SPFX

YouTube - The Uncle Zombie Show

Halloween Kiss!

texmaster — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:40:41 GMT

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that -
1) you have to be single and
2) you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party!"

Great Halloween video

halloween_sucks_in_the_uk — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:59:03 GMT

Saw this on youtube and thought it was really cute, the ending made me laugh

YouTube - Hand in the Candy Bowl